Today it’s Thanksgiving – that American holiday which vies for Americanness with the 4th of July. As I’m a “legal alien” of quite recent standing in the US, I’m not particularly atuned to either holiday. The 4th of July is great for firework displays, but, as a Brit, when friends and family discuss what it is they’re celebrating, I have to remain somewhat in the background. I’m tempted to say, “OK, King George was a dunderhead and never understood your distaste for taxes, but can we have our colonies back now, please?”
Thanksgiving is easier to accommodate, although I have to say that the timing of the holiday makes no sense at all. It is way too late in the year to count as a harvest festival. Sensible, as always, the Canadians hold a national Thanksgiving day on the second Monday in October, at the right time. But that’s the time when the US is celebrating Columbus Day, in honor of the man who discovered the Bahamas, and, confusingly, referred to the natives there as Indians.
In theory, the first Thanksgiving Feast was held by the Puritan separatists, who founded Plymouth Colony and who were giving thanks to the almighty for surviving for a whole year. If so, then Thanksgiving should be on December 11th, since that was the day in 1620, when the Mayflower bumped into America – in the wrong place. (The pilgrims intended destination was North Virginia, but they never had Google Maps in those days.) Over 40 pilgrims died in their first Massachusetts winter from the extreme cold, so a survival celebration dinner on December 11th, just before the sub-zero weather draws in, seems a little bit premature to me – unless the long range weather forecast was predicting a really mild winter.
In fact there’s no convincing evidence to prove that the first Thanksgiving Dinner ever took place, or that there was a second one a year later. But neither is there any convincing evidence to prove that King Harold was hit in the eye by an arrow at the Battle of Hastings in 1066. President Abraham Lincoln invented Thanksgiving as we know it today – the festival that keeps the US airlines alive because everyone flies around the US trying to meet up with the family. Lincoln declared Thanksgiving Day as a national holiday in 1863, to be celebrated on the final Thursday in November, much to the dismay of millions of turkeys.
Pardoning The Turkey
As you may have noticed, each year, the President of the US engages in the bizarre ritual of pardoning a turkey before Thanksgiving. You might think that the turkey pardoning also dates back to Lincoln, but not so. The tradition is of very short standing. It was introduced by President George H W Bush in 1989, and thus a mere 20 turkeys have been saved by presidential clemency, 60% of them by a Bush. One pities the poor birds that are thus spared. They must wander around the turkey farm asking themselves “Hey, where’d everyone go?”
A clear sign that Sarah Palin still has her eyes on the presidency was her recent regrettable interview at a turkey farm where she’d come to pardon a turkey, just to demonstrate that she can do presidential things. She looks very presidential don’t you think, with those birds being slaughtered just behind her.
Problem is, of course, that no-one listens to her words anymore because they never seem to get arranged in an order that conveys meaning. So everyone is left to watch and learn the method by which Alaskan turkeys go to meet their maker. Don’t feel obliged to watch.
In America, our “history” seems to be a messy jumble of facts and myths. I just read an article about how organizations in four different states want to claim that their homes are indeed the proper places of the first Thanksgiving dinner. And they’ve all got convincing arguments as to why.
As far as Canadian Thanksgiving goes, they just stole the holiday from us. Even if they did place it at a more sensible time on the calendar.
http://www.sondrak.com/index.php/weblog/reel_thoughts_the_americanization_of_emily/
Lt. Cmdr. Charles E. Madison: You American haters bore me to tears, Ms. Barham (bloor). I’ve dealt with Europeans all my life. I know all about us parvenus from the States who come over here and race around your old Cathedral towns with our cameras and Coca-cola bottles …brawl in your pubs, paw at your women, and act like we own the world. We over-tip, we talk too loud, we think we can buy anything with a Hershey bar. I’ve had Germans and Italians tell me how politically ingenuous we are, and perhaps so. But we haven’t managed a Hitler or a Mussolini yet. I’ve had Frenchmen call me a savage because I only took half an hour for lunch. Hell, Ms. Barham, the only reason the French take two hours for lunch is because the service in their restaurants is lousy. The most tedious lot are you British. We crass Americans didn’t introduce war into your little island. This war, Ms. Barham (bloor) to which we Americans are so insensitive, is the result of 2,000 years of European greed, barbarism, superstition, and stupidity. Don’t blame it on our Coca-cola bottles. Europe was a growing brothel long before we came to town.
Really? Is this a sequitur?
The sequiter part about is – you American haters bore me to tears and the most tedious lot are you British.
Why is it that people try to come to America for a new life and opportunity? Why are you here and talk down our traditions? Just go back and be (un)happy there rather than here.
Jeez, you seem to have grown up without a sense of humor. Thank God for the First Amendment. I can hardly be an American hater, having moved here and married an American and with every intention of becoming a citizen.