In Search of Men in Black

A number of correspondents have provided suggestions of further wacky subjects for me to research over the web, so I’ll be continuing my odyssey for quite a few weeks yet (if you have any suggestions then post them – I’ll follow up). Last week was 2012. This week I went out in search of “Men In Black”.

The idea behind this phenomenon is that anyone who discovers any evidence of UFOs or alien visitations is likely to be visited by the Men In Black, who dress conspicuously in black suits and dark glasses, drive around in black cars and generally stick out like a sore thumb – pretty much as depicted in the comic movie of the same name. (They are not, by the way, related to Mr Smith in the Matrix movie, who has a similar taste in suits and sun glasses).

Apparently, these Men In Black put the frighteners on you, steal your UFO evidence and wipe your memory. The last of these tricks, the wiping of memory, is a neat capability which (unless they’ve been keeping it well hidden) is beyond the abilities of the CIA, KGB, or any other agency whose name consists of a mere 3 letters. The Men In Black, therefore, probably do not belong to any such organization. Most likely they are fashion victims from another solar system. But which?

There are multiple candidates, depending on which web site you visit; Alpha Centauri, Betelguise, Arcturus, Vega, Andromeda, Sirius, Sirius B. Unfortunately, apart from vague references to ancient Egyptian temple decorations and such things, there is no real evidence that mitigates in favour of any of these other than, perhaps, their closeness to our sun. Some of the interested web sites imply that the mysterious Men In Black are, of course, aliens – but ones that look like human beings rather than the small silver skinned creatures with big eyes that are popularized elsewhere on the web.

I’m a little confused by the disparity here. These are different looking beings with different taste in clothes. The silver skinned aliens seem to wear tight fitting body stockings, whereas the Men In Black wear well tailored 1950s suits. I personally doubt if they belong to the same species of alien. Maybe there are two species of aliens that regularly visit this planet. One is small, silver-skinned and benign and they are desperately trying to make contact with us. However, all their attempts are foiled by the other humanoid aliens who wear dark glasses, dress badly and want to keep a lid on the whole alien thing.

In my investigations I unexpectedly came across advice on “how not to be abducted by aliens.” Oh, the feeling of relief.

Apparently, according to another authoritative source (The Alien Presence and the Underground City), you are more likely to be abducted by aliens if you are “easily influenced, naïve and gullible”. Those dastardly aliens must have invented a gullibility detector. How cunning of them!

But is it?

Could it be?… that all you need to do to protect yourself against alien abduction is not believe a single word you read about it?

I’m game.